Pirates, Elves, and Balloons!
by Aragirl
Summary: What happens when four normal girls go on a cruise with the whole seventh grade? What happens when some go missing? What is Jack Sparrow's real last name? All these questions and more shall be answered in this fanfic! LOTR POTC Crossover
1. Of Disappearing and Appearing

Of Pirates, Elves, and Balloons  
  
  
SUMMARY: What happens when four normal girls go on a cruise with the whole seventh grade? What happens when some go missing? What is Jack Sparrow's _real_ last name? All these questions and more shall be answered in this fanfic!  
  
This is my first attempt at a fanfic so it probably stinks. Oh well! I shall curse fanfiction.com with my awful stories! Mwuahahaha! BTW-it's based on a dream I had, although I did add in some other things. 96% of the characters are real people, just with different names. Jackie and Rachel are real people and those are their real names. Jackie=me author of the story. Rachel=my best friend who told me to write a fanfiction about this story. On fanfiction, she is THECheeseTurkey! So, let the insult to the name story begin after these few messages!  
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything Pirates of the Caribbean. I don't own anything Lord of the Rings. I also don't own the Pizza Song, that would be Eoin Colfer and I'm writing this because I just might feel the need to start singing it during the story:-D I also don't own the Hollywood.com song which I shall sing right now!  
  
Something, theater listings, theater listings, showtimes, and interviews, trailers, etc. hollywood.com dootdoot  
  
The following story has been PG by...me, due to *some* moderately scary parts which really aren't scary but oh well.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Chapter 1:Of Disappearing and Appearing  
  
Jackie smiled happily. This was the life. On a massive cruise boat with the entire seventh grade heading to the Caribbean. Could this possibly be any cooler? Definitely not.  
  
"Hey Rachel! Hey Catie!" Jackie said as her friends Rachel and Catie appeared.  
  
"Hey Jackie!" Catie and Rachel chimed together.  
  
Perhaps an explanation would be helpful. Jackie (Wavy brown hair, dark brown eyes), Rachel (Curly dark brown hair, dark brown eyes and gold glasses), Catie (Blonde hair, blue eyes) and their other friend Kianna (Black hair, green eyes) were all on a boat heading from New Hampshire to the Caribbean. Sure it's a long trip (Actually it would take up much of the summer) but it was going to be so fun.   
  
"Want to go watch a movie?" Kianna said walking towards them.  
  
"Sure."  
  
"Why not."  
  
"SGTM"  
  
"Can I have a cookie?"  
  
"_Kianna!_" Catie, Rachel and Jackie chimed together.  
  
"Just kidding! Hey let's watch "The Return of the King!" Kianna said happily.  
  
"You turkey! It's not out for...58 more days!" Rachel exclaimed.  
  
"Two Towers!" Kianna said.  
  
"Okay!" Jackie said, eager to work on her memorization of the movie.  
  
The four friends walked down to the bottom deck of the cruise ship. Heading towards the movie room, they discussed rumors on the Artemis Fowl movie.  
  
"I heard that it's coming out in March!" Kianna exclaimed.  
  
"That's the new book!" Catie said rolling her eyes.  
  
"Oh." Kianna replied unhappily.  
  
"_Closed_?!" the four chorused together as they saw the sign on the door.  
  
~~~  
  
Movie Room  
Closed until further notice  
  
"A day without LOTR is like a day without air!" Jackie exclaimed.  
  
"What is this madness?!" Rachel yelled to the closed door.  
  
"Okay, then let's have a movie marathon tomorrow!" Catie suggested.  
  
"Let's make a list of all the movies we want to watch!" Rachel added.  
  
The four put their heads together and came out with a short list:  
  
MOVIES:  
-The Two Towers  
-Pirates of the Caribbean  
  
  
"Sounds like a good list to me!" Rachel said.  
  
"Kinda short isn't it?" Jackie said pessimistically.  
  
"Who cares?" Catie asked.  
  
It rained the next day and everyone was stuck on the lower decks. The movie room was packed but Jackie, Rachel, Kianna, and Catie managed to squeeze in watching the Two Towers and Pirates of the Caribbean, only the two best movies in the entire world! More than five hours of watching Legolas, Aragorn, Will Turner, and Jack Sparrow fight evil dudes. Life was good!  
  
That night it continued to rain. Now it was harder and thunder and lightning boomed out like an old grandfather clock. No one heard the crash upon the deck as two creatures, a man and a monkey climbed aboard, taking two more with them off the boat. No one realized till morning.  
  
"I didn't do it!" Jackie yelled as she was shaken awake by Kianna. She had done this every day since the cruise had started. "Hey where are Rachel and Catie?"  
  
"I dunno. Maybe they jumped off the boat." Kianna suggested.   
  
"Oh yeah I'm sure that's it!" Jackie said, now fully awake.  
  
"Why don't we take breakfast to go and find them?" Kianna said.  
Jackie agreed and they walked up the stairs to find all the seventh graders in various states of dismay and shock. Several were crying and others were shaking their heads in disbelief. Everyone was surrounding a large square that had been marked by caution tape.  
  
"What happened?" Jackie asked no one in particular.  
  
Catie turned around at the sound of Jackie's voice.  
  
"Jackie! Kianna!" Catie said with a squeaky voice, hinting that she had been crying. Catie proceeded to grab them both in a big hug.  
  
"Catie? Where's Rachel?" Kianna asked.  
  
"Gone!" Catie yelled and broke down into tears.  
  
"Gone where?" Jackie asked.  
  
Catie could only point at the large square.  
  
Jackie and Kianna raced through the throngs of seventh graders to the edge of the square. Smack dab in the middle was a big skull and crossbones. Identical to the one on the medallion in Pirates of the Caribbean.  
  
"OMG!" Kianna gasped.  
  
"No! It couldn't be! I thought they were dead!" Jackie exclaimed.  
  
"Who knew the rabid rabbits of Ferwood Farm would want to kidnap Rachel?!" Kianna wondered.  
  
"You birdbrain! No one else is saying it so I will, pirates!" Catie said, finally having finished crying.  
  
*cough*line stealer*cough* Jackie coughed.  
  
"It wasn't the exact line!" Catie defended.  
  
"Riiiiiiiight." Jackie said.  
  
"So the rabid rabbits are in cahoots with the pirates? Wait what pirates?" Kianna asked.  
  
"Who even says cahoots anymore? No! It's just the pirates! The ones who carved the skull and crossbones and x2 into the floor." Jackie explained.  
  
"X2?" Catie wondered.  
  
"X2. Times two! Two captives have been taken!" Kianna said.  
  
The entire seventh grade turned to stare at Kianna. She had actually figured something out!  
  
"OMG! Who's the other person?!" Catie exclaimed.  
  
"OMG what if it's me?!" Kianna screamed.  
Good, Kianna's back to normal!  
  
"Wait, where's Darwin?" Catie asked, looking around.  
  
"Darwin and Rachel are gone!" Jackie said.  
  
"What are we going to do?!" Kianna said,"Ooh I know!"  
Kianna proceeded to run around the boat. With a shriek, she turned the other way and began to yell.  
  
"Ahhhh! It's the dead pirate wanna-be!"  
  
ALL: confused  
  
"Yohoho and a bottle of rum!" a voice rang out.  
  
ALL: confused  
  
Jack Sparrow climbed up the ladder onto the deck, singing.  
_  
Thunk!  
_  
A loud noise confirmed that Catie had just fainted.  
  
Jackie could only stutter,"Yyyourr Jaacck Spsparrow!"  
  
"You're supposed to be dead!" Catie said as she got up from the floor, deck, whatever!  
  
"Am I not?" Jack rang out.  
  
Jackie was too surprised even to discreetly cough line stealer.  
_  
Thwacka!  
_  
This was the sound of another body hitting the deck. This time in a much different way.  
  
A giant sea serpent had just risen from the water. Legolas sat perched atop its head.  
  
With a groan, the sea monster tilted its head forward and Legolas slid down onto the boat.  
  
"What did I miss?"  



	2. Buckets, Pails of Water, and Waves, wot,...

|Pirates, Elves, and Balloons | | | |CHAPTER 2: Buckets, Pails of Water, and Waves, wot, wot? | | | |Disclaimer: I don't own Rachel. She exists so she owns herself. | |Thank you Rachel for putting my story on fanfiction since I have | |no clue how. I do own Catie and Kianna cause they randomly popped | |into my head and I started writing about them. I don't own Lord of| |the Rings (My last name is NOT Tolkien) or Pirates of the | |Caribbean. BTW: I also don't own the hare speech from Redwall even| |though I changed some words. | | | |Intro: As you might remember (Unless your me and have to check | |fanfic to see what last happened in your own story) we left the | |characters when Rachel and Darwin had disappeared. Captain Jack | |Sparrow and Legolas had just boarded the ship which I have now | |decided to call the S.S. Squishy. Let chapter 2 begin!!!! *starts | |waving balloons around* | | | |The moment you've all been waiting for...drum roll please! | |*listens to drums* CHAPTER 2! | | | | | |"Nothing!" Kianna informed Legolas cheerfully. | | | |Kianna was the sole person to speak. Most likely because everyone | |else had expressions of shock frozen on their faces. | | | |"Hey, mate." Jack Sparrow said turning to Legolas. | | | |"Sup bro?" Legolas replied. | | | |"Anyone ever tell you that you look like Will Turner?" Jack asked.| | | | | | | |"The dead one who can't die or the one who has the cool hat?" | |Legolas wondered. | | | |"The one with the hat, it is a cool hat!" Jack said. | | | |"Hmm....don't believe anyone's ever told me I look like him." | |Legolas said. | | | |"Are you Legolas?" Catie asked. | | | |"No he's Mr. Potato Head!" Jackie whispered. | | | |"WOW! I've never met a real potato before! Can i have your | |autograph?" Kianna asked in amazement. | | | |"Is she a bit...touched in the head?" Legolas wondered. | | | |"Just between us, I've been wondering the same thing!" Jack | |Sparrow muttered to Legolas. | | | |"Did you guys kidnap Rachel and Darwin?" Catie asked. | | | |"Who is Darwin anyway?" Jackie wondered. | | | |"Why would we kidnap anyone?" Jack asked. | | | |"And why would we leave that big mark on the deck?" Legolas | |pointed out. | | | |"Hmm...I guess you're right!" Jackie said. | | | |"That mark was clearly left by none other than the infamous | |pirate, Captain Barbosa!" Jack announced. | | | |The whole seventh grade was quiet, for the first time in their | |lives. | | | |"Ahhhhh!" everyone screamed. There was a mad rush to reach the | |lifeboats and paddle away. Jackie, Catie, Kianna, Legolas, Jack, | |and a couple students named Raige, and Carlos. | | | |"Where'd everybody go?!" Kianna asked. | | | |"They jumped off the boat." Carlos replied. | | | |"Riiiiight" Catie said. | | | |"I hate it when you say that. It makes me feel stupid." Raige | |replied. | |Catie rolled her eyes. | | | |"Could you guys get along for like...one second." Catie said. | | | |"Doubt it." Catie answered pessimistically. | | | |"People! We have a problem!" Catie announced. | | | |"We do?" Kianna said. | | | |"We are in the middle of the ocean, two people have just gone | |missing, and Catie and Raige are | |within three feet of each other." Jackie explained. | | | |"Well then let's find Rachel and Darwin!" Kianna suggested. | | | |"What a great idea!" Carlos exclaimed. | | | |"Okay, so...where do we start?" Raige wondered. | | | |"Well may I make a suggestion?" Jack asked wandering over, without| |waiting for an answer he launched into a plan. | | | |"So we ride the jolly ol' ship over to their jolly ol' ship and | |knock on the spankin' sea doors, and when them young, undying, | |folks open the jolly good doors, we run in and grab your happy ol'| |friends." | | | |"You don't sound like you do in the movie. You sound like the | |hares in Redwall." Jackie said. | | | |"Wot, wot?" Jack said,"I've been practicing. | | | |"The plan sounds good." Kianna said,"Let's get ready to rock!" | | | |"One problem." Raige announced. | | | |Everyone turned to look at him. | | | |"We're on a sinking ship." | |The small group turned to face the large hole that had appeared | |when the sea monster had popped in. No one had noticed that they | |were standing in knee-deep water. | | | |"Houston we have a problem!" Catie said. | | | |"*cough*line stealer*cough*" Raige coughed. | | | |Raige was forced to duck as Catie swung a pailful of water at him | | | |"Owww!" Raige said annoyed. | | | |"Well...let's get off this boat!" Kianna suggested. | | | |"Good idea!" Carlos said. | | | |Jackie, Catie, Jack, Raige, Carlos, and Legolas jumped off the | |boat into the water. | | | |"Shouldn't we have grabbed something to float on?" Legolas | |wondered. | | | |"I'm a step ahead of you!" Kianna said as she jumped into the | |water holding a large piece of wood. | | | |"Where did you get that?" Jackie wondered. | | | |"It's a door!" Kianna announced proudly. | | | |"How did you get a door off the hingey thingys in 30 seconds?" | |Jack asked. | | | |"I didn't!" Kianna said. | | | |"Then how did you get it off?" Raige asked. | | | |"Well...you know that bucket that Catie threw at you?" | | | |"Yes..." | | | |"Well it went straight through the door!" | | | |"Then wouldn't there be a big hole somewhere?" Jackie asked. | | | |"Yes...good point! How did this door get off the wall?" Kianna | |wondered. | | | |"YOU took it! You should know! You killed the llama!" Carlos | |yelled. | | | |"What llama?" Legolas asked. | | | |"You don't want to know!" Jackie insisted. | | | |"Do you think that there's a chance that the big wave right there | |is going to be a bad thing?" Catie asked. | | | |Everyone turned around to see the tsunami wave crawling up behind | |them. | | | |"Hope you mates are jolly good swimmers, wot, wot!" Jack said | |cheerily. | | | | | | | |Will the friends escape the giant wave? Will they find their | |friends? Who is Darwin? Will these questions even be answered in | |the next chapter? Well...only one way to find out! Read it! AND | |REVIEW IT!!! | 


	3. A Riddlin' and a Rhymin'

Chapter 3 of Pirates, Elves, and Balloons  
  
A Riddlin' and a Rhymin'  
  
Will the friends escape the giant wave? Will they find their friends? Who is Darwin? Will these questions even be answered in the next chapter? Well...only one way to find out! Read it! AND REVIEW IT!!!  
  
  
  
  
  
DISCLAIMER:I don't own Lord of the Rings. I don't own Pirates of the Caribbean. I don't own Brian Jacques hare speech. Well jeesh! What do I own?!  
  
NOTE TO READER: Contrary to unpopular belief, Will Turner IS NOT in this fan fiction. Read it, write it down, remember it, and GET OVER IT! Sorry I've been looking for a situation where I could say that! The only non- original characters are Legolas and Jack Sparrow. Will Turner is, and I repeat IS NOT in this story. But since someone brought it up, I think I just might put him in :-D  
  
So we left off with Rachel and the mysterious Darwin disappearing. Jackie, Kianna, Catie, Raige, Carlos, Jack, and Legolas were on a ship with the whole seventh grade but they ditched them and now they are stuck in the middle of the ocean with a giant wave right behind them. WHAT WILL THEY DO?!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"What will we do?!" Jackie screamed to her fellow shipwrecked people.  
  
"Hey I just remembered something!" Legolas said happily.  
  
"What?" Kianna asked.  
  
"Don't you think we have more important things to be thinking about?" Raige asked.  
  
"Wow. Raige actually said something that makes a bit of sense!" Catie announced.  
  
"Oh close your mouth!" Raige said.  
  
"Now now mates! Let's-----"Jack began but was forced to stop as the giant tsunami wave crashed over their heads.  
  
The last thing any of them remembered was cold, dark, rushing waters swirling all around them...  
  
-Now if I was a mean author I would end the story right now and leave you wondering about what finally happened. But I'm a nice person so I shall continue the story!-  
  
"Hiya koma moka cappa chino!" a familiar voice chattered, adding to Kianna's headache.  
  
"Oki cheeky moo moo auga!" another voice started.  
  
"Cava finda hiya wert!" the first voice screamed.  
  
"Oki cheeky moo moo yourself!" Kianna mumbled.  
  
"Shea liva!" the second voice screamed with joy.  
  
"Kia llami oote...yaga!" the first voice said happily.  
  
Kianna sat up quickly. What were all these strange noises?  
  
Finally Kianna opened her eyes. She looked around in shock. Kianna was sitting in a large hole. Kneeling on the floor of the pit, Kianna could see other holes on the shore of the small island that she was on. Kianna decided to test her legs to see if she could get out of the hole. At last, a stroke of luck, she quickly clambered from the hole.  
  
"Noa! Goa bak tothee Holehea ling!" a third voice said.  
  
Kianna turned to face the creature who was speaking. It was a short being, with a deep brown tan, covered in tatoos and wearing a toga.  
  
"Whoa bea youa?" Kianna asked, shocked to hear the words come out of her mouth.  
  
"Translata!" the being cried,"Meis Glakamook!"  
  
"Hiya Glakamook!" Kianna asked,"Meis Kianna!"  
  
"Goolaataa!" Glakamook said,"Coom meta leda."  
  
"Okalata chino." Kianna said turning to follow Glakamook as he led her away from the hole.  
  
As they weaved their way through various holes, Kianna saw her friends in holes of their own.  
  
"Letta mea fends fee!" Kianna asked.  
  
"Lhater." Glakamook promised.  
  
"Okalata chino." Kianna said somewhat disappointed.  
  
As they continued to walk across the beach, Kianna heard faint murmurs of speech. It was clearly the two beings who had been speaking near her earlier.  
  
"Meeta Willy Turn and Madame Saxifraga Sarmentosa. She prefers Saxifraga Sarmentosa opposed to just Saxifraga." Glakamook introduced,"Willy Turn, Saxifraga Sarmentosa, meet Kianna."  
  
"Pleesed toa meyt yhrou." Kianna said, still puzzled as to how she had learned this new starnge language.  
  
"Yiua spek nhormmaly?" Saxifraga Sarmentosa asked.  
  
"Thank goodness yes I do!" Kianna said pleased to be able to speak normally once more.  
  
"My name is Will Turner. This is my good friend Saxifraga Sarmentosa." Will Turner announced.  
  
"Hello Will, Saxifraga Sarmentosa. My name is Kianna." Kianna reintroduced herself,"Are you Will Turner from Pirates of the Caribbean."  
  
"Yes as a matter of fact I am!" Will announced.  
  
"Wow! There's someone I want you to meet!" Kianna said.  
  
"Okay! Glakamook please come here." Will said.  
  
So Kianna, Will, Saxifraga Sarmentosa, and Glakamook went up to each of the holes, freeing its occupant. Why exactly they had been put into holes, no one ever figured out. Finally, Kianna, Jackie, Catie, Raige, Carlos, and Will were all on the top of the beach.  
  
"Okay Will, this is who I wanted you to meet!" Kianna said, hardly able to contain her excitement.  
  
"Who?" Will said still mystified.  
  
"LEGOLAS! Come meet Will!" Kianna shouted to the group assembled on the shore of the sea.  
  
No one answered.  
  
"Legolas?" Kianna called.  
  
Still no answer.  
  
Everyone else looked around, attempting to find Legolas. Raige and Jackie dashed back to where all the holes lay and made sure they hadn't missed him.  
  
"First Rachel and Darwin; now Legolas!" Kianna said beginning to cry.  
  
"I still don't know who Darwin is." Raige complained.  
  
"Do you know why you don't know?" Catie asked.  
  
"No."  
  
"Cause you're you!"  
  
"I'm guessing thats's not a compliment."  
  
"So, you're not as stupid as you look. Well, it would be pretty hard to be that stupid."  
  
"Catie, you are such an----"  
  
"Leda mea hilpp midetai!" Glakamook said as he walked up.  
  
"Meet Glakamook." Saxifraga Sarmentosa introduced each of them by name.  
  
"Pileezd toome eat yhu." Glakamook said happily.  
  
"He is happy to meet you." Saxifraga Sarmentosa explained.  
  
"So what are we going to do now?" Jackie wondered,"Three of our comrades are lost. We're stranded on a desert island. And pirates have attacked us and obviously are holding some sort of grudge."  
  
"Ey no wayr Willy lookalikea bes hydeenn." Glakamook announced.  
  
"WHERE?!" Saxifraga Sarmentosa asked.  
  
"Ey tells iffen your has ridul khauntst." Glakamook said.  
  
"He knows where Legolas is. He'll tell us if we have a riddle contest." Saxifraga Sarmentosa explained.  
  
"Count us in!" Kianna said, determined as ever to introduce Legolas and Will.  
  
"I shall go first, then Raige, then Glakamook." Saxifraga NAME decided.  
  
"Let's hear the riddle!" Raige said.  
  
"Tis in snake...yet not bake  
  
The three terrible beginnings all have it...  
  
The first letter in a lost friend's name  
  
The beginning of awful and argue  
  
The end of town and crown  
  
Where a hole always leads...  
  
Add ed and its for sure,  
  
What you are now." Saxifraga Sarmentosa finished.  
  
There was a long silence until Raige finally shouted out,"Stranded!"  
  
"Correct." Saxifraga Sarmentosa said,"It's your turn Raige."  
  
"Here it goes:  
  
The color of his cloak  
  
The color of old hair  
  
Yet also the color of smoke  
  
And he wears it with so little care  
  
It rhymed with so many words, I say!  
  
If you've paid close attention to this little rhyme,  
  
You will figure out the answer...  
  
In almost no time!" Raige finished.  
  
No one said anything, silently going over the riddle in their heads.  
  
"Time's up! Answer is...gray!" Raige announced.  
  
"Legolas' cloak IS NOT GRAY!" Catie said as she threw a sandball at him.  
  
"Gray!"  
  
"Green!"  
  
"Gray"  
  
"Green"  
  
"Gray"  
  
"Green"  
  
"Gray!"  
  
"Green!"  
  
"It's both so just close your mouths and keep them that way!" Saxifraga Sarmentosa said.  
  
"Okay Glakamook, your turn." Jackie said.  
  
"Okay, here it goes!" Glakamook began:"  
  
There once was a tree,  
  
A great friend he was  
  
To the bird and the bee  
  
And he did as a tree does...  
  
Grow in the Spring  
  
Yet not in the Fall  
  
Though he loved to play pongping  
  
There was a game he loved most of all  
  
What was it?"  
  
No one said anything...then finally...  
  
"Pingpong!" Catie shouted.  
  
"Cheater" Raige accused.  
  
"So not."  
  
"So not" Raige mimicked.  
  
"Okay, so where's Legolas?" Kianna asked.  
  
"This wasn't a contest." Glakamook announced.  
  
"Yes it was!" Catie defended.  
  
"Well than what was the prize?" Glakamook demanded.  
  
"It's back at the castle. Why don't we all go there now?" Saxifraga Sarmentosa suggested.  
  
"Sounds good to me." everyone agreed, eager to get Legolas to meet Will.  
  
So Saxifraga Sarmentosa and Will led Jackie, Kianna, Raige, Carlos, and Glakamook to their castle. When they arrived, the guests were shocked. The term castle barely seemed to do the building justice. It looked as though it had just popped out of a fairy tale.  
  
"Wow..." breathed Kianna.  
  
"The prize is in the cellar." Saxifraga Sarmentosa explained.  
  
So they all climbed down the stairs to the left of the castle and went into the cellar. As soon as they arrived, Saxifraga Sarmentosa began to hop around and shout.  
  
"I have captured you all! Even the imfamous Will Turner and Jack Sparrow! I'm invincible! I'll go catch Barbosa now!" with that, Saxifraga Sarmentosa turned around and ran out of the cellar.  
  
"Do you think she realizes that she never tied us up and left the door wide open?" Raige wondered.  
  
"Probably not. She's mad." Will explained,"Everytime someone visits, she puts me, Glakamook, and the visitor in the cellar then we come out and she's already forgotten."  
  
"Ohhh." Jackie said.  
  
"Well mates, let's get choppin outa hear, wot wot?"Jack said cheerily.  
  
"We haven't heard you say anything for a while, mate. Did a cat get your tongue?" Kianna asked.  
  
Jack proceeded to open his mouth and show where a piece of his tongue had been bitten off.  
  
"Okay then! How about we get out...right now!" Carlos said.  
  
"And find Legolas, Rachel, and Darwin!" Kianna suggested.  
  
"I think I'll stay here."Glakamook said and proceeded to take a nap.  
  
"Ditto." Will said, also falling asleep.  
  
"Well...let's get going!" Catie said.  
  
So Catie led Jackie, Kianna, Jack, Catie, Raige, and Carlos out of the cellar and towards a large boat, which had been conveniently anchored near where they emerged.  
  
"Well I guess Will will never meet Legolas...but at least there's a boat we can  
  
"borrow" and of course return." Jack said.  
  
The seven friends borded the boat and set off toward the setting sun.  
  
"We should probably look for Rachel and Darwin first. And the Black Pearl." Catie announced.  
  
"Hey look at that piece of seaweed!" Raige shouted,"It looks kind of like Legolas' hair!"  
  
"You're right!" Jackie said, peering over the edge of the boat,"We should grabit and show it to him when we find him!"  
  
"Okay! Who has a big net?" Carlos asked.  
  
"I do!" Jack said pulling it from under his hat.  
  
After they had pulled the "seaweed" up, they made a rather shocking discovery.  
  
"OMG it's Legolas!" Catie gasped.  
  
"I come to you from Kalamazoo and I must say this is a rather good day!" Legolas rhymed.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"You won't know what happens NEXT unless in the review box you put some TEXT." Legolas announced. 


	4. More Rhymes and story telling

DISCLAIMER: Nope, I don't own Lord of the Rings or Pirates of the Caribbean or the wot, wot? thing from Redwall. All I own is Joey the clay squirrel who was stolen last year, two days after he was made. We shall mourn the loss.  
  
Please don't flame my story if you aren't going to leave your e-mail. If you are going to insult my story, or me stand up for what you're saying and don't be a coward and run away.  
  
Please review. You may read no further unless you review my story! Muwuahahaha! JK! Read on but please review when you're done!  
  
BTW, later on in the chapter, the characters tell stories. If they sound familiar, that is because my friend THECheeseTurkey uses them in her stories. I, however, am the person who wrote them. Please do not use them without my permission. If you want to use them, e-mail me at Jackie692aol.com or LaughElf13aol.com  
  
(This is THECheeseTurkey butting in! Yeah, I put this story up for Jackie and just wanted to say HI! To everyone! Love the turkey story, Partner in cheesy crimes! Just had to ask you to PLEASE SPACE in-between paragraphs! I would make my job easier! Thankies! Bye for now! !)  
  
We left our characters on a boat sailing out to sea after encountering Will Turner and possibly insane women named Saxifraga Sarmentosa. Shortly after boarding the boat, Legolas popped up, speaking only in rhyme. WHAT IS THIS MADNESS?!  
  
......................... ...  
  
"Hey it's Legolas!" Raige shouted.  
  
"Einstein walks among us!" Catie announced sarcastically.  
  
"So do aliens and Elvis." Kianna said happily.  
  
"Maybe you aren't so smart. Perhaps you could take up art. If you don't have to look up the meaning, when you're done the....what rhymes with meaning?" Legolas started.  
  
"Beaning, Deaning, Cleaning, Preening." Jackie suggested.  
  
"When you're done the preening!" Legolas finished.  
  
"Well, you jolly ol' chap! What're ya thinkin'? That doesn't make one jolly bit of sense!" Jack exclaimed.  
  
"Oh go buy a hat!" Carlos said.  
  
"Why don't you?" Jack asked.  
  
"Okay!" Carlos said as he jumped off the boat.  
  
Everyone ran to see where he had gone.  
  
"Where is he?" Jackie wondered.  
  
"He's gone" Kianna said!  
  
"Well chaps, old Carthingy seems to be M.I.A. Let's carry on with our jolly ol' tasks" Jack suggested.  
  
"Land ho!" shouted Raige from the front of the boat.  
  
"Land ho!" Catie shouted from the front of the boat.  
  
"So we've heard."Jackie said.  
  
"Well I said it first!" Raige said.  
  
"No you didn't!" Catie announced,"I did!"  
  
"Did not."  
  
"Did too."  
  
"Did not."  
  
"Did too."  
  
"Did not."  
  
"Did too."  
  
"Did not."  
  
"Whatever!" Kianna intervened.  
  
"The point is we see land all covered in sand. And a group of people dressed as a band." Legolas announced.  
  
"You're right! I think it's Bermuda. Do you think that's where the pirates landed?" Raige asked.  
  
"No. Probably on their island in the Caribbean. That's the only place I can think of." Legolas said.  
  
"How do you know?" Catie asked,"And why aren't you rhyming?"  
  
"I'm smart" Legolas announced,"And nothing rhymes with Caribbean."  
  
"Riiiiiiiight" Jackie said.  
  
"Don't say that! It makes me feel stupid!" Raige complained.  
  
"Let's play a game!" Kianna suggested.  
  
"The story game!" said Jackie.  
  
"Oooh yeah!" Kianna agreed.  
  
"All you do is make up a story explaining something!" Raige said.  
  
"Okay."  
  
"Sure."  
  
"Count me in!"  
  
"Ditto!" a new voice called.  
  
"Who's that?!" Jackie asked as she jumped backward in shock, karate- chopping Catie in the leg.  
  
"Oww!" Catie complained.  
  
"Baby" Raige said.  
  
"Stop talking about yourself" Catie shot back.  
  
"Don't fight! Be nice!" the stranger called. Clad in a long black cloak with a purple lining, the stranger was certainly a strange sight. She was uncommonly tall with a pair of dark jeans that looked excellent with a violet colored shirt with long, draping, peasant sleeves. If you had seen the outfit on anyone else it would have looked awful, yet on this strange person it was comely.  
  
"The name's Sarah. And I'm the person you have been waiting for." Sarah said.  
  
"You're just in time for the game! Can I start?" Jackie asked.  
  
"Sure" was the general reply.  
  
"Here it goes:  
  
Every November we celebrate a special holiday called Thanksgiving. In another land far far away from here, a group of people called the Turkanawanaijuwedafochs, or the Turkas as they are more commonly known, celebrate a holiday quite similar. A symbol of this holiday is a picture of a turkey. Little do they know, the turkey is a fearsome beast. Especially the evil turkey! Dundundundunnnn."  
  
"It all started when the Turkas and Jonas became friends. The Turkas forgot their alliance with the turkeys and cooked the leader turkey, also known as the Kabob for dinner. This infuriated the turkeys! A small council met. They called themselves the Wanna Kill Those Who Killed and Roasted the Great and Powerful Kabob. Or W.K.T.W.K.R.G.P.K. Needless to say, their name was not spoken often."  
  
"Anyway, they set out to kill the Turkas. They were not aware that the Jonas were powerful magicians and had taught the Turkas all they knew.  
  
The turkeys were walking straight into a trap.  
  
The moment the turkey army arrived, they were sprinkled with potion and a dead oak tree was dropped on their heads"  
  
"The potions took the turkeys skin and it began to melt. The feathers all fell off and exposed a rough green surface. Their legs and feet grew feathers, their beaks shrunk until they looked more like a horn than a beak. The turkey's eyes changed colors until they were a kaleidoscope, destined to spin around forever.  
  
The mutant turkeys were unconscious thanks to the oak trees. The moment they woke up, they discovered that the Turkas had left them deserted in a large corn field. This was the biggest mistake that the Jonas and Turkas ever made.  
  
The angry turkeys didn't know that their brains had been partially melted. The turkeys were all insane. All but one turkey who immediately called a meeting to order.  
  
"Order! Order in the house! We have been insulted by the Turkas. They are now our enemies. We must destroy them! We shall be THE EVIL TURKEYS! To war!" the wannabe Kabob shouted.  
  
The turkeys instantly got confused about what they were supposed to do. Instead of charging after the Turkas, they scattered in every direction. Even to this day, their descendants roam the hills, wreaking havoc wherever they go." Jackie finished.  
  
"Ahhhhh! Scary story!" Kianna called out," My turn next!"  
  
"Okay!"  
  
"Okay, this is about why elves have pointed ears: Once upon a time, elves had normal ears. Elfen birthday parties are a big celebration. One elfin queen had her party at a large swimming pool and invited every elf alive to come. They played in the pool for days. Finally they all got out, with pruny hands and water stuck in their ears. The next day, a seven year drought began. Everything died. Except the elves, for they had water stuck in their ears and whenever they were thirsty, they tilted their heads and water came pouring out. The elves approached the great fairy goddess of the rain, Renria and asked her to stop the drought. Renria said,' In a couple days.' and the elves left happy. Unfortunately, they had drank almost all of the water in their ears and while sucking the last few drops out, their ears shriveled up until they were pointy. Renria laughed at this sight. Her plan had worked! She let the rain fall down and wake all of the dreaming people who the elves had assumed were dead. The rain wiped away their sanity and they begged to hear the thunder and then they screamed." Kianna said.  
  
"Ditch the Hilary Duff and get on with the story!" Raige shouted.  
  
"Clam your chickens!" Catie said.  
  
"I don't have chickens!" Raige said.  
  
"Well buy some at the grocery store!"  
  
"Those aren't real chickens dummy!"  
  
"Well put a plastic chicken underneath the egg and then break them and pretend that the chicken hatched!"  
  
"Why don't I just go to a stupid farm?"  
  
"Because we are in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean!"  
  
"Then where would I go to a grocery store?"  
  
"I don't know!"  
  
"Rewind!" Kianna interrupted," So the rain fell and creatures began to inhabit the Earth again. All was well, for the elves loved their new ears!" Kianna finished proudly.  
  
"Such truth I have never heard," Sarah put in," I am the person you are waiting for. It is I who will lead you to your destination..."  
  
"Where's that?" Raige asked.  
  
"You seek someone..."  
  
"Yes..." Raige agreed.  
  
"I know where they are," Sarah said.  
  
"Where?!" everyone exclaimed.  
  
"There!" Sarah said,"I shall return when you need my help again."  
  
Everyone turned to see where Sarah was pointing. It was an island. In the Caribbean. Hence the name, Pirates of the Caribbean.  
  
"Is this the pirate's island?" Jackie asked Sarah.  
  
But Sarah was no where to be seen.  
  
"She's gone!" Kianna exclaimed.  
  
"Where are Jack and Legolas?" Catie asked.  
  
"Good question!" Jackie said,"I haven't seen them since Legolas stopped rhyming."  
  
"Great. Rachel and Darwin are still missing. Legolas is missing again and now  
  
Jack is missing too!" Kianna summed up everything.  
  
Where have Rachel, Darwin, Jack, and Legolas gone? Make sure to read the next chapter to find out! 


	5. I'm Hungry!

Falicfa the Fearsome Disclaimer: "Hey Joey, guess what?" "What?" "I don't own LOTR!" "No way!" "Yeah way!" "Wow..." "Guess what else?" "What?" "I don't own POTC!" "Say what?" "I don't own POTC!" "The things you learn in a disclaimer...." I do own all of my original characters, Jackie, Rachel, Darwin, Catie, Kianna, Raige, Falicfa, Sarah, Joey the Squirrel, etc." We left off with Jackie, Catie, Raige, and Kianna on a boat heading for the pirates island. They had just spotted an island when they discovered that Sarah had left and Jack and Legolas had gone missing... "WOW! Look at that!" Kianna screamed with excitement. "What?" Raige asked as he walked over and stood next to her. "It's a whole fleet of pirate ships!" Kianna exclaimed pointing towards the horizon. "Cool! Let's watch them and see what they do!" Raige suggested. "Okay. I wonder if they are going to dock at the island right in front of us that we are heading toward?" Kianna wondered. "Wow! Then we would meet real pirates!" Raige said excitedly. "You guys are really...." Catie said as she walked over,"different. If the pirate fleet is headed toward that island, they're most likely going to attack." "You think?" Kianna wondered. "OMG LOOK!" Jackie sceamed. "What?" "It's Jack and Legolas!!" Jackie announced. Three heads turned to look where Jackie was pointing. "Oh no!" Kianna screamed. "What are we going to do?" Raige asked. "They're going to make them do the Frodo Chicken Dance! How humiliating..." Kianna mused. Three pairs of puzzled eyes turned to look at Kianna. "Good people captive on pirate ship=Bye-bye good people," Raige said to Kianna "Ohhhh," Kianna said. "Some people think they are soooo smart! But are they? NO!" Catie said to a person in particular. "Oh shut your mouth," Raige said. "Jackie, he's being mean again!" Catie complained. "Don't invade Catie's personal bubble," Jackie announced," Respect all personal bubbles!" "Whatever," Raige said. "Well what are we waiting for?" Jackie asked," If we don't do something soon..." Everyone present knew what would be filled into the blank. "I wonder if they have one of those plank thingies?" Kianna wondered. A large chunk of spaghetti hit Kianna in the head as she was talking. "Oww..." "Call me crazy but...are they throwing spaghetti at us?" Jackie asked. "It's undercooked!" Kianna complained. "Ki, don't eat pirate's spaghetti!" Catie said. "Guys, lets do something!" Raige announced, "We cannot sit around all day. We must fight back! We need to rescue Jack and Legolas! Then Rachel and Darwin!" "Hmm....I have this box of mushrooms..."Jackie added. "So, they throw spaghetti, we throw mushrooms?" Catie asked. "Uh...yeah that sounds about right." Raige said. Kianna smiled,"Mushrooms are fungi." "Let's just do this!" Jackie said as she grabbed a handful of mushrooms," Wait, where have the pirate ships gone?" The four friends looked around, puzzled. "Lllookkk..."Kianna stuttered,"Ththey'are riightt thththere." Jackie, Catie, and Raige turned around to where Kianna was pointing. Three pirate ships were anchored right next to their boat. Five pirates stood at the ready, grappling hooks in their hands, waiting for the signal to board. A tall, female with short blonde hair and blue spectacles stood atop the mast, a sword in her hand. A bandana was wrapped around her head, exposing just a bit of her hair. She was dressed in various colors of silks and seemed quite confident. "Ahoy mates! Prepare to board!" the female pirate said. The four friends looked at each other nervously. This couldn't be good. Suddenly, a major brain wave went through Kianna's head. "They're not immortal! They must be just as scared as we are! If we show no fear, they will get scared." Kianna announced. A quick discussion between the four decided that one of Kianna's plans was better than no plan. They did their best to look fearful. Kianna reached into her pocket and took out a bag of balloons and a pump. She proceeded to pump air into a balloon until it was long and skinny. A quick twist of her wrist made it a sword. Kianna raised her balloon sword up high and screamed," VAST MATEYS!" The pirate crew took one look at her and ran off the side of their boat. The female perched upon the mast sighed and swung down, landing neatly on their ship. "Hi," the pirate said," My name is Falicfa." "I'm Jackie." "Raige." "Catie." "I'm a pirate!" Kianna announced, holding her "sword" up again. One of the crew popped up next to her and made a request. "Can you make me a balloon unicorn?" "Sure," Kianna said," They don't really exist though." "Sure they do," the man said," If you go to the farm and bring a carrot to a horsie..." Kianna curled her hand into an "o" shape and stuck it on her forehead. Then she handed him his unicorn. "Sorry about that," Falicfa continued," These folks were never meant to be pirates." "You guys could join one of those reenactments of pirates," Raige suggested," You sure look the part." "What a great idea!" Falicfa said. She gathered up her crew and togetehr they left for Hollywood. "Wow, I feel like the Wizard of Oz." Raige said. "Yeah considering you're a big fake!" Catie said. "Guys! Let's grab Jack and Legolas and get out of here. We need to search the island for the ship that took Rachel and Darwin!" Jackie said. "You know what? I can't take this abuse anymore!" Catie yelled," I'm leaving to go join the Mermaid Club!" Catie jumped off the side of the boat and before their very eyes, grew gills and a tail. "I can't take this either! I'm leaving too!" Raige said," I will fulfill my dream of being a seagull!" Raige grabbed hold of a large rope and swung himself into the air. He grew feathers and a beak and was off to steal sandwiches from unsuspecting beachgoers. "I guess it's just us now..." Jackie said. "I guess so..." Kianna said, her eyes beginning to water up. "No no! Don't cry!" Jackie said. Kianna's eyes filled with tears. Slowly, one slipped through her defenses and trickled down her cheek. Suddenly, she was flat out bawling. "It's okay Kianna," a voice said. The two looked around to see Jack and Legolas standing behind them. Kianna quickly wiped away her tears. "Tsk tsk natum. Let's stop being fountains and start being brave rescuers!" Jack suggested. "Okay. I just...Catie...Raige...Carlos...Darwin...Rachel...everyone's leaving. I don't want to be the last person left." Kianna said slowly. "I'm not going anywhere," Jackie said. "Count me in." "Ditto." "Thanks guys..." Kianna said smiling," Can we go get lunch? I'm starving!" Good ol' Kianna! 


	6. The long awaited chapter 6

The Long Awaited Chapter 6  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own LOTR! Pity!

And they all lived happily ever after!

The End!


End file.
